Day 3

Day three of the challenge...and all is well.  

I was pretty excited yesterday as I was cleaning out my sweater drawer.  

True story:  Many of them no longer fit so I'm not quite sure why I was still holding on to them.  I've started a bag for Goodwill that will most likely contain more than just sweaters by the end of this challenge.  

But speaking of Goodwill...I had purchased a sweater that I loved....but rarely wore.  With the short, short sleeves, my arms were always chilly.  I thought to myself, I wish I had a black, long sleeve top to wear under it.  

That missing layer was discovered today:  

I loved this sweater layer.  My top was toasty warm all day. Legs, on the other hand, not so much with the temps in the 20s.  I need to step up that game tomorrow as temps are dropping.  I guess winter has arrived.  

Tomorrow will probably involve an extra layer of leggings and perhaps some Uggs.  Who knows?  

PS...Still loving the pockets!

Day 2

Day two of the 100 Day Dress Challenge....woot woot!

An icy morning meant no in-person worship, but the opportunity to livestream from home.  It was a joy to check in with folks first thing this morning.  

Billy got some BTS (behind the scenes) photos during the livestream.  

I've been in the dress all day.  From Christmas cleanup (the tree is still decorated, FYI) to laundry, to reading and general housecleaning.  I wore it with my go to weekend leggings and (for most of the day) my Chewbacca slippers.  Good times.  

Until tomorrow...

#100daydresschallenge

#wooland

Day 1

Day one of the 100 day dress challenge!  

I love the dress.  It was perfect for church tonight.  

The clerics were a perfect fit underneath...and my mic fit in the pocket.  

After waking up worrying about the ice predictions for Sunday morning and what that meant for worship, it was a joy to already have my outfit ready.  
Thanks to Billy for taking the picture today.  I anticipate more selfies in the future. 

Until tomorrow...

#100daydresschallenge

#wooland

2022 - Discover

 New year, new word. 

Last year was a tough one, but what I realize looking back is that it involved a tremendous amount of growth.  It opened up new opportunities.  Opportunities that were hard, fun, scary, challenging and new.  When you're in the middle of an experience, it's hard to see how it's actually impacting you and most likely transforming you.  

Looking at the year ahead, I will be diligently on a journey of discovery.  

Taking a moment each day to think about something I've discovered...a new place, a new skill, a new insight, a new favorite flavor of ice cream...you name it.  

It will be a good word, not just for myself, but also for my call at Trinity.  As we are in a year (plus) of transition, who knows what we discover...about ourselves, about our faith, about God's call for us in this place and beyond these walls.  

I truly believe there is much for us to discover.  

My first intentional opportunity to discover will begin on Saturday as I begin the 100 Day Dress Challenge.  To read more about it, check out 100 Day Dress Challenge by wool& 

Why this challenge and why this year?  

Truth be told, one of the key reasons is because I've definitely been suffering from decision fatigue.  All the decisions that surround this pandemic and the way it impacts the church I serve and the community around us has called this congregation and its leaders to make difficult decision after difficult decision.  Thinking about care of myself and family just adds to the decision making to the point that I don't even like deciding what is for dinner anymore.  (Isn't that a sad truth?)

So, I'm hopeful that by not having to decide what to wear for 100 days will free up a little head space and decision making space for other more important things.  

I'm sure there will be other discoveries as the 100 days pass, and I'll share those as they come.  This will be the place where I submit all my daily photos.  I feel like remembering to post the photos may be the hardest part of this challenge.  

My dress arrived today. I tried it on and I am good to begin on Saturday.  

Let's do this.  

Stewardship Weekend Sermon

November 14, 2021
Stewardship Sunday
Daniel 12:1-3
Psalm 16
Hebrews 10:11-35
Mark 13:1-8

Please pray with me,

May the words of my mouth and the mediations of all of our hearts be acceptable and suitable in your sight, O God, our rock, our strength and our redeemer.  Amen.  

Well here we are, gathering to celebrate stewardship weekend.  A time of celebration, of seeing and celebrating God’s abundance in our lives, a chance to share the ways we will give out of that abundance in the coming year.  It’s a time to dream big and act even bigger…knowing, in our heart of hearts, that God is a God of abundance and we are called to live out of that abundance.  

And on this celebration of abundance weekend…we have a gospel reading from the 13th chapter of Mark.  As soon as I started digging into this reading to prepare for this sermon, one theme kept popping up for me.  

Apocalypse.  

Yup, apocalypse.   This passage in the gospel of Mark is known as the ‘little apocalypse.’  I don’t know about you, but when I hear the word apocalypse, it doesn’t lead me to think about a weekend of celebration and abundance.  It makes me think of people parading around with “the end is near” signs and worries about the signs - like wars, buildings being torn down, uprisings, general disorder and chaos - you know, those things that seem to point us to the fact that it’s the end of the world as we know it.  

Not very uplifting, celebratory or hope-filled, rather it sets the tone of fear, worry and scarcity.….not really the tone the pastor would hope for a stewardship weekend.  Right?  

Okay, that is not where we want to be today.  

But here is something that I also found as I was digging into this passage from Mark, an additional definition for apocalypse, which can mean something quite different than the way we have come to know and have learned its meaning.  

An apocalypse is an unveiling.  Yes, it’s an unveiling or an uncovering - a disclosure of something secret and hidden….in the words of Debi Thomas, “to experience an apocalypse is to experience fresh sight.  Honest disclosure.  Accurate revelation.  It is to apprehend reality as we’ve never apprehended it before.”[1] 

That’s helpful, isn’t it?  

To hear this passage from Mark in a way that we are seeing it anew, that something is being unveiled for us.  

In this passage, the disciples are focused on the sight of the temple, it’s large stones and beautiful façade.  But in this revelation, Jesus invites the disciples to see beyond the grandeur of the building itself…and reveals that God’s amazing work of salvation and love is not limited to the confines of the temple, or any building.  

Jesus, again, is trying to show the disciples the new way that God is breaking into the world and that it is different from what they have known and experienced, that as the kingdom of God breaks into this world, it will not be what they expect, it’s never what any of us expect, but it is still God. 

And that, my friends is good news.  

Jesus is preparing the disciples, and us, for the coming of the kingdom of God, and the reality that is will be different than we expect, or imagine or think it will be. 

But, as Jesus is preparing the disciples, and us, he is also inviting us to see what is being revealed, as well.  He is opening our eyes to this new future, to a new way of seeing God at work in the word, he is helping us to see it with him.  

The disciples say, Look teacher, what large stones and large buildings….

But Jesus says, look…at what God can do in the world…that is not limited to buildings, or cities or systems that are already in place….

Look, at what God can and will do…with you, in spite of you and through you.  

It is far too easy, to live in a time of uncertainty, and worry about the present and the future.  

It is far too easy to wonder what will happen to the greater church as we come out of a pandemic.  

It is far to easy to be fearful about the future when we do not know what it will bring…in our world, in our nation, and even here at Trinity.  

It would be an easy response to say, I don’t know what the future will bring in this place, so I’m not sure I can support what I don’t know….

It would be easy to just fill out an estimate of giving card or a time and abilities sheet and stick to a prior year’s commitment…just holding on….to see where this year of transition takes us…

I get it…as we continue to live through a global pandemic, our lives have experienced much change.  You may not be able to give as you once were able to but that doesn’t mean we just hold where we are…

Jesus reminds us, at the end of today’s passage, that this is just the beginning of the birth pangs.  

Maybe this year of pandemic has truly brought us to a place of a new beginning…not maybe, it certainly has….the veil has been pulled back to allow us to see and be church in new and different ways, outside and online…just to name a few.  As we experienced being pushed out of this building, we discovered or rediscovered new ways to love and serve our neighbors.  

As new things have been continually revealed to us throughout the past year and a half….Jesus says, look….things will continue to be unveiled….hold fast to one another…and look, things are being unveiled.  

New ministries…

New relationships…

New faces…

New opportunities for service…

A new way of seeing this space, and how yes, it is part of doing Christ’s mission in our community, but the reality that the mission we are part of is not limited to the confines of this building…that God’s love has broken out beyond these walls into our community…and we are called to be part of that love both here…and beyond. 

So, here we are, Stewardship weekend, and Jesus has and will continue to call us to look and see God at work in the world…and Jesus calls us to be part of it…

How will you continue to be part of this mission of love in the world?  

In response to God’s amazing love and abundance in your life….how will you live out of that?  

Looking at what this place has been, is right now…and can be in the future, how are you part of that?  

As you look at your estimate of giving card, and time and abilities sheet, in what new ways are you part of Christ’s mission in this place?

Now that new things are being revealed, how are you responding in a new way?  

Are you giving more of your time?  

In learning?

In serving?

In attending worship? 

Are you giving more of your talents?  

In worship?

As we have shifted back into full worship in the sanctuary, we know that worship is the work of the people as ushers, greeters, lay assistants, screen assistants, and livestream camera folks, not to mention the amazing wealth of musicians we have in this place.  

Have you shared your talent of praying for others?  Calling people on the phone to wish them a happy birthday?  Your talents of cooking or baking?  Your artistic talents or computer talents in helping with our website or social media sites?  

Are you giving more of your treasure?  

To financially support the staff in this place as they work with lay leaders to live into the mission of Christ in this place?  

To support the upkeep of this building and it’s many upgrades?  

To support different outreach ministries of this place….like food pantry, missionary sponsors, shepherding ministries or any of the many others?  

Because here’s the deal…the kingdom, that Jesus continues to unveil to us will come and will happen…no matter what.  It will happen with us or without us and in spite of us.   

I don’t say that to be negative…but God’s church is so much bigger than this one congregation.  But wow…what a joy, what an opportunity….to be part of this new thing that God continues to birth in our world.  Right?  

We are called to be part of this new birth…this new growth…this new beginning.  

How is God calling you to be part of this new beginning?  

And now may the peace, which surpasses all understanding, keep our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus and let all God’s people say, amen.  

 

---

[1] (https://www.journeywithjesus.net/essays/2010-not-one-stone)

All Saints

November 7, 2021
All Saints
 
Isaiah 25:6-9
Psalm 24
Revelation 21:1-6a
John 11:32-44

Please pray with me,

May the words of my mouth and the mediations of all of our hearts be acceptable and suitable in your sight, O God, our rock, our strength and our redeemer.  Amen.  

In her book Bravey, Olympian Alexi Pappas writes, 

“I think this is called grief, feeling and even embracing your painful feelings.  Pain needs to see itself in the mirror and be felt before it can go away.  When I feel sad and I hold it in, I feel completely alone.  But when I let it out, I let go of all pretenses.  I’m just a human, which is comforting because it means that I’m not alone.  It’s good to grieve.” (p. 84)

It’s good to grieve.  

There, I said it. 

I give you permission to grieve.  

The losses you are experiencing this very minute or the ones that you have experienced throughout the course of this ongoing pandemic.  

The losses have been deep and different for each and every one of us.  

We, as individuals and as a community of faith are grieving.  

We are grieving the loss of jobs, the death of loved ones, broken marriages, a pandemic that has brought too much death and division, a change in how church once was and how it will continue into the future and the loss of ‘normal life’ as we once knew it.  

So, yeah, grieve.  It’s been more than just a challenging year plus, it’s been full of stress and change, uncertainty and challenges, all seemingly without a built in break to pause, reflect and begin to heal from all of this.  

So, let’s take today as just a moment, in the middle of it all to stop.  To grieve.  To remember.  To acknowledge that what we are experiencing is real and hard and painful and there is no quick journey through this experience and sometimes it’s exhausting!  

We find ourselves to be bone tired, yet we are unable to give the heart and mind the rest it truly needs.  (Joy J. Moore)[1] Because in this time of pandemic, we have not been able to escape death….it has entered into our homes, into our lives, into our congregation…so how do we find rest in that?  Or where do we find rest?  

It seems like it’s not possible to find the space to stop, to rest, to begin this process of healing because we are expected to just keep going…

So where do we go?  

To the foot of the cross, friends…that’s the only place we can go in this moment.  

And the foot of the cross is where we meet Jesus in our gospel lesson today.  

We join Jesus as he hears about Lazarus’ death.  

And in that moment, Jesus weeps. 

Jesus weeps.   

It’s not a sentimental moment…it’s deeper than that.  

Jesus is weeping…at the death of Lazarus.

Jesus is weeping for himself and what is to come.

Jesus is weeping for the reality of death in general, because he knows death causes separation that is beyond fathomable.  

Jesus weeps for what death does in our lives and what death brings.  (Karoline Lewis)[2]

Let me say that again, Jesus weeps for what death does in our lives and what death brings.  

Here in this moment - God, present in Jesus, is bearing the weight of the world, and all he can do is weep.  

That, dear ones, is our God…in human flesh and blood, feeling our feelings, knowing the brokenness that death will create in our world…and right alongside of Mary…and us…weeping. 

I don’t know about you…but for me, in this moment, I find incredible comfort.  That the God we know and love, the one who created you and me, is present with us in this moment of grief and sits with us and weeps.  

God weeps with us and for us, for the death in our lives, for death in our world.  

In that moment the God of the whole world…is human…and lives into our grief and vulnerability.  

In that moment, God - in Jesus - is present in our grief….and is vulnerable….just like we are.  

So in this place of grief and vulnerability….the foot of the cross, if you will, is where God shows presence and power.  

And that in that grief and vulnerability God has power over death.

In that grief and vulnerability God has power over death!  

Because Christ is Risen!  He is risen indeed!

That’s what I’ve got, dear ones.  

That where we are today….we are not alone.  

God has met us in this place. 

God meets us in this place.

 

And sits with us…and weeps with us…and shows us that this is NOT the end.  

That death IS NOT the end!

There is joy beyond the weeping.

There is hope beyond the hopeless.

There is life beyond death.

I know, sometimes it hard to get past this individual or communal moment.  Sometimes, as I mentioned earlier, we need to make time for these moments to see and name and acknowledge this grief and pain and death.  

But let us do that as a community of faith and be reminded through the presence of one another, that God is here…with us…today.  

And as our journey continues, as we move forward with God beside us, our future is hopeful and hope filled because God is there in it all.  

God is here….in it all.  

Thanks be to God, because this is not short or simple journey.  This life and all the pain and grief we experience in it…takes time.  

Alexi Pappas agrees, as she writes, 

“All pain takes time.  Some hurt fades quickly, but other times it lingers like the glop of powder stuff at the bottom of a mug of hot chocolate.” (p. 84) 

You, me, us, we are all in different phases of this pain and grief.  

All of us move through grief and pain differently than others.  

Some more quickly, some more slowly…and for some, well many of us, it returns and resurfaces in unexpected ways.

So this is your pastor reminding you all, to be gentle with one another.  

As we, a community of faith, have experienced death so personally this year, be gentle with one another.  You may not understand how and why some of us are more tired, or more sad or more joy filled, or more hopeful or more distressed.  

So please, dear ones, be kind and gentle to one another. 

May the comfort Christ brings to us…be extended to one another…in presence, in weeping, and in love.  

As Christ is present with us now, let us be present for one another.  

And now may the peace, which surpasses all understanding keep our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, and let all God’s people shout, amen.  

---

[1] Not a direct quote, but this is how I heard her reflect on this text on the Working Preacher Podcast. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oe5wbbV4Cu8

[2] Working Preacher Podcast - Link in footnote above. 

Sunday's sermon - the shouty one.

October 24, 2021
22nd Sunday after Pentecost

Jeremiah 31:7-9
Psalm 126
Hebrews 7:23-28
Mark 10:46-52

Please pray with me,
May the words of my mouth and the mediations of all of our hearts be acceptable and suitable in your sight, O God, our rock, our strength and our redeemer.  Amen.  

In the book, A Prayer for Owen Meany, when the narrator is talking about his friend Owen, who is small for his size, and grew up in and around the granite mines in New Hampshire, he talks about his voice, which was strained…and every time Owen speaks in the book, his dialogue is always in all capital letters, it seems like he is always shouting….
When my grandmother, Omi, sent emails, it seemed like caps lock was always on….I felt like she was always shouting at me.  

HI JEN!
HOW ARE YOU?
I MISS YOU!

I LOVE YOU!

LOVE, OMI

There’s something about shouting that is sometimes jarring, like in the voice of Owen Meany or an email from your grandmother, but sometimes it's cathartic…and sometimes necessary.  

Yes…it’s the shouting, the crying out, that speaks to me today.  

For him to shout out to Jesus as he passes by….
For others to try to silence him, so much so that he shouts again….

Today’s story is in essence a simple one.  
But the layers of depth draw us in, in a way that I believe Jesus wants us to be drawn in.  

In the middle of many passages from Mark where the disciples are trying to understand Jesus presence and mission…and where they fit into it as well…we have this seemingly simple story of a blind man.  

Bartimaeus hears that Jesus is passing by so he shouts out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Many around him sternly tell him to be quiet….but it doesn’t work.  
After they attempt to silence him, he shouts out even more loudly, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”  

Jesus stops.  

And says call him here.  

Bartimaeus throws off his cloak…a small detail, but huge in importance…this cloak was his sleeping mat, his cover at night, a place during the day to receive the coins that would have been tossed in his direction to help him survive…it was the one possession that helped him with shelter, food, comfort….it was all that he had.  and in that moment of being called by Jesus he throws it off…oh if only the rich man we heard about weeks ago could have seen that…

And then Jesus asks the same question he has asked of his disciples…what do you want me to do for you….?  
What do you want me to do for you?  

I mean, those looking in at this situation would think, duh! he’s blind, he wants to be able to see!  

But Jesus, after hearing the man cry out, looks at him and asks, what do you want me to do for you?  

Let’s stop right here.  

And let’s put ourselves into this story…right now.  

How many of us…feel like we are sitting on the sidelines….or feel like we are not being heard so we shout out to Jesus…seriously….shout out to Jesus…and say, have mercy on me!  And not just say, we shout it out….have mercy on me!  

Because this is where I am this week.

I’m feeling it, friends.  

I’m feeling, what seems to be the weight of the world, and I think it’s beginning to show.  

Last week two people commented about how tired I looked…. 
I’m not sharing this for sympathy or even help, but to get it out there.   

That I’m at the point of shouting out to Jesus, HAVE MERCY ON ME! 

So that Jesus stops…
Acknowledges me…
And asks me, Pastor Jen, what is it you want me to do for you?  

Because the reality of being asked that question…I don’t even know what I would ask…
Is that strange?  Is that weird?  
I don’t want to be saved from this situation, or swept up from it, just seen, acknowledged and heard.  

Because as I hear the cries of the people in this place,
as we lament this pandemic,
a year plus of loss and grief,
the wonder of the future of the church in this place,
the recent deaths and funerals,
the desire to return to the familiar that we miss so deeply…yet the familiar in a new way.  

I want to ask all of you….what is it you want me to do?  
But I’m afraid to…
Because I’m afraid I cannot meet the needs.
I’m afraid you will want things…need things…have needs…that I am not able to meet, help, solve, cure, or fix.

I’m afraid I will not be able to be the pastor you want me to be or need me to be in this place.  

Maybe that’s why I’m truly afraid to ask this question, because my own inadequacies, short fallings, will be revealed…and you won’t want to see them, or I won’t want to see them….oh, it just gets messy….

So I shy away from opening up the door to vulnerability and welcoming you into this space with me….

But today’s gospel shakes me out of that space false security, or false safety, and pushes and pulls me into the space of Christ in community.  And the reality that we are all longing to be seen and heard as we cry out for mercy. and that only when we are able to do that do we truly find ourselves in a place and position to be seen and heard by Jesus…and maybe even healed of these infirmities.  

Today’s gospel calls me to say to you…
What is it you want me to do?  

Today’s gospel calls me to say to you….
What is to you want me to do?  

And as I ask that of you, I’m reminded, by Jesus, that I’m here to be present and to listen.  
I’m not here to answer all the questions, solve all the problems, complete all the tasks…but to create the space for you to say what it is you need…from your pastor…from this community of faith…from Jesus, right now.  

As scary as it is for me to ask this question….what is it you want me to do?, I ask it in the safety of this community, knowing that as I throw off my own cloak of protection and comfort, I am welcomed into a place of support, love, grace, forgiveness and love (worth mentioning twice)…that the cloak of Jesus, that replaces my own is far more comforting and healing then any covering I could try to wrap myself in.  

So, today, wrapped in the cloak of love and grace of Jesus…I ask you, 

What is it you want me to do?  

What is it you want of this community of faith?  

And most importantly, What is it you want Jesus to do for you?  
 
And now may the peace, which surpasses all understanding keep our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, and let all God’s people shout, AMEN.