Truth is...

Truth is working out is hard this week. 

I'm not sure why.  I've had drive to run twice and the desire to not do anything else the other days.  
I know it's good to work out. 
I know I'll feel better when I do. 

But goodness, the emotional drive to do it this week has been a struggle.  
I've reached out to a private workout facebook group for some accountability.  
I'm wondering where my internal drive has gotten off to.  
The good news is that the prospect of running has been inspiring.  It seems that is all I want to do.  
But since I hurt my achilles tendon several years ago I have not been in the habit of back to back running days. 

With a Ragnar in the fall, I know that in July I'll kick into training gear.  Having a goal race and a plan to get me there works really well for me.  I know that having something larger than myself to work for I will be jazzed to run and workout.  In fact, I can't wait to start that training plan.  But in the meantime, I'm frustrated with my lack of internal motivation.  

It's been a weird week with feeling all or nothing.
I think I need to take it one day at a time.  

Today: 
I'll set out my clothes to get a spin class in at the gym before work.  
I will go 'screen free' at 8:30 and read until an early bed time.  

Tomorrow: Early morning spin. 

I'll tell a friend or two that this is my plan for today and tomorrow.  

I can do this.  
I will do this.  

It is good for my heart, body and soul.  

In other news, my weight has been fluctuating just a bit.  Since my last weigh post at 152.4 on May 21, I've been down to 149.6 and back up this week to 151.2.  All in all, it's not that much.  And, I think my body is good at this weight.  I like seeing numbers under 150, but this past week I have not been logging food as faithfully as I have in the past.  When I don't log it, I tend to snack more and not think too much about it.  

I don't want this post to be only frustrations and struggles...but I share them because they are part of this journey for me.  It's not all great runs and healthy eating.  I struggle with this.  It's work for me.  Truth is...it always will be.  

Some days are better than others.  
Yesterday I ran a sweet 3 miles with negative splits and ended up having a milkshake for dinner.  (win. win?)
I had a really good stretch and roll both yesterday and Sunday when I ran this week.  
I'll take the ups and downs.  
It's a journey and you learn along the way.  

Thanks for listening.  

Until the next post.